So, back to all the reproductive specialist fun... I saw the doctor 2 weeks ago for a weigh in to find out if I had gained enough to move forward with treatment. I had gained a bit and only had 5 pounds to go. I increased my calories a decent amount, concentrating on adding more fat. Feeling pretty positive and confident that I had gained some, I went for a weigh in yesterday. My weight was the same! How is that even possible with how much I have been eating?? To say I felt discouraged would be an understatement. BUT, today I am feeling a little better about it all. I am still extremely determined to gain the weight, be at a healthy BMI, and try the next treatment option.
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| Need to constantly be reminded of this!!! |
I have continued to increase how much I am eating. I have been using the MyFitnessPal phone app to make sure I am eating more. I hate to count calories, but if I just "listened to my body" and ate whatever I felt like, I am sure I would not eat enough. Sometimes when I look back on a day and see just how many calories I have eaten, it freaks me out! Actually, I should say it freaks ED out! I am trying my best to ignore him...I am slowly accepting the fact that for whatever reason, I just have to eat a lot more than most people to put on weight. I really should just embrace and enjoy it! Many people would LOVE to be able to eat so much and not gain weight.
I will say I have been enjoying some parts of it...
Got these for Christmas and finally letting myself enjoy them. So Good!
I know, it is not even close to Easter yet...Blame Target for putting these on the shelves super early!!
I don't care who you are, or how old you are...Pop Tarts are delicious!!
Even kittens like Confetti Cupcake Pop Tarts! The little thief!
Another problem is that I hate even knowing my weight...For a long time I wasn't weighing myself at all and that was great!! Anyone who struggles with an eating disorder knows how evil that number on the scale can be.
I am a FIRM believer in this!! BUT, when my doctor tells me I need to be a certain weight, I kinda need to come face to face with the dreaded scale. I just keep telling myself that I am doing this to be healthy and become a mommy!!
Hopefully two weeks from now I will have a happier post titled "Goal Weight Achieved!!" Or maybe something a little more catchy... I will work on it :)
What is a super tasty food I should try???
